3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
