the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
