I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
