he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
