dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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