Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
