That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
