and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
