Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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