It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
being pregnant is like rehab
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
