it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.