Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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(352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9

Replies (7) Good night (3143) Bad night (767)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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(609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm

Replies (11) Good night (3783) Bad night (595)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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(551): And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries... http://tfl.nu/h7d9

Replies (18) Good night (3104) Bad night (786)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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(630): i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can http://tfl.nu/e7bo

Replies (26) Good night (1825) Bad night (5300)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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(502): new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home http://tfl.nu/1gm8

Replies (25) Good night (7144) Bad night (1041)
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(753): View more from

He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

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(753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4

Replies (4) Good night (1862) Bad night (884)
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(305): View more from Florida

Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.

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(305): Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement. http://tfl.nu/gpxv

Replies (12) Good night (3796) Bad night (1004)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp

Replies (6) Good night (3205) Bad night (1394)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.

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(541): Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me. http://tfl.nu/hakv

Replies (13) Good night (1026) Bad night (793)
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(530): View more from California

I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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(530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji

Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (341)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!

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(908): Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas! http://tfl.nu/asvm

Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (361)
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(248): View more from Michigan

PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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(248): PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW. http://tfl.nu/5tmy

Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (472)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME

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(306): just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME http://tfl.nu/54hn

Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (331)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.

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(919): There is an alarming amount of food in my bra. http://tfl.nu/bxub

Replies (0) Good night (482) Bad night (527)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Two words: blizzard sex

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(443): Two words: blizzard sex http://tfl.nu/npwl

Replies (2) Good night (134) Bad night (13)

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