Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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