pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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