I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
