The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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