It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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