Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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