Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
