oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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