So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My vagina is very pro this idea
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
