I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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