i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize