You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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