if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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