stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
