we have officially lost it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Randomize
