You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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