i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
