Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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