Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
