so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize