Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize