we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
