i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
