Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
