wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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