I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
