Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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