Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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