Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
