Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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