Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
actually, I'm a sock model
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
