I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
