Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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