I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
