Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
