Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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