No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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