Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
