He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
