Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
FUCK WHALES
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize