You're my little dorito
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
