Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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