Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He passed out mid-signature
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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