Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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