i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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