drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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