Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
