I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
