dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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